My Maternal Grand mother
- April 12, 2021
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: My Experiences - My Thoughts
My Maternal Grand mother
She was Serenity personified.
I heard that she never went to school. But that did not stop her from learning to read. She was married at a very early age and took on household responsibilities very early too. Having spent most of her life within an extended family, we youngsters heard that she was the one who took responsibility for household work.
Here, I can mention only my personal experience of living with her for about three years when I was a school going child.
Always saw her at work in the inner regions of the house. We never knew when she woke up or at what time she slept. She spoke only when spoken to. She was always alone in the kitchen and backyard doing her work. That work was what she took upon herself. In her world there was calm, collectedness and tranquility…while the rest of the house could be going through unrest!
She never appeared to be doing anything for herself. Except the care with which she washed and hung up to dry her saree close to the ceiling in the dining area. It was an art, the manner in which she folded the wet saree into neat square bundle, to give it an ironed look, then picked it up on a stick and carefully spread it on the clothes hanger, close to the ceiling where none could touch it.
She sang slokas, and prayers in an undertone which was not audible to anyone. She would read devotional books often in the quiet corner of the dining area after her work.
She herself drew water from the well for cooking purpose. She cooked food in primitive coal and firewood stoves, blowing the flames through an iron tube. Her recipes were her own…all food tasted divine when she made it. She was often called upon to serve more unexpected guests than just the family members. Never heard her showing surprise, displeasure or unwillingness to do so. How she managed to feed so many was a miracle with the limited resources that were available to her.
Never heard anyone ask her about her interests in anything. Never saw her going out of the house… not even to the temple. No one made social conversations with her, and she never seemed to feel upset with that. She appeared content in her world.
She was a very perceptive person. She knew the needs of everyone. As children, we were searching for something to snack on often. Since the kitchen was out of bounds, we would look in the store room. Lying for a short nap in the afternoon with her saree edge spread on the door step, she would tell us quietly which tin among the multitude of tines of various sizes had those snacks!
There was one common festival that our family did not celebrate, but she quietly made a sweet dish and told us we could celebrate the festival quietly in our premises of the house! That was her level of general acceptance of changing times.
Once she had a festering boil on her cheek, which took a long time to heal. Her capacity for pain tolerance was unbelievable. We never heard her complain even once in the 4 to 5 months it took for this to heal.
I found not one moment of her life spent in any self related activity. Was she contented? No one dare ask her that. She had that quiet strength of character that stopped all from making small talk, gossip or be frivolous in front of her. She spent her limited leisure time sewing small rugs from discarded clothes in a neat manner.
She never raised her voice, never stated an opinion in a group, she was a calm listener, had a very soothing presence, and …never got upset or angry! Her superior emotional maturity was a gift from Gods clearly.
Her deep commitment to her marriage, her husband and the extended family, the quiet understanding between them was reverential and out of this world. It was a relationship that words cannot describe.
Was there ever a person like her in this universe? Even the Goddess, who is her name sake, did something major for herself … her name was Rukmini, but not my grandmother, who never did anything for herself!
This life is worth living if there is at least one person like her among our known relationships. Only deep respect came to mind when one was in her presence.
I bow down deeply in utmost reverence to this miracle woman, whom I was fortunate to have known for a small part of my life and hopefully share some genes with her!
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I have some memories of Avva .. which are exactly the same as yours Mayuri! I have seen her literally bent to half.. in fact I have no memory of seeing her stand straight! Wonder if she had some dissatisfactions.. some expectations from her life! Because all we saw was contentment and peace and serenity on her face!! Very well articulated.. as always!!
Impressively emotional… narrative!
In tears here.
Akka
Is she same Rukminiamma chitti, my father used to refer?.
Good narrative of paati and yr association with her.
I used to quote such ref only if some say lock down boring.
Those times they were in lifetime lockdown but never got bored or depressed etc.
All decease ( anni rogslu) with present generation only.
They were sincere to their work( as a married woman ,as mother her roles & responsibilities) and hence never felt bored and used to feel happy doing their house hold chores.
Even today if we happen to meet their gen people ,they will be happy to receive us and will try to cook and give if we say we like yr that x dish . That is their love .
My childhood remembrance when Appa took us to Phani mama’s house was her saying Ra, Ravi, wachinava ( in Telugu) and that she was bent over while talking. Very well written
Interesting and motivational narration mam
During summer vacation our family used to go to Tirupati. Ananth and I got her to narrate Mahabharata story while she was washing clothes. I know a lot about that epic, learnt entirely from her. Later from her I learnt the art of hanging saris on a cross bar near the ceiling using a long pole. By that time I was an engineering college student and was fascinated by the skill involved in it.
Like Mayuri said, she was never stepped out of the house , never even seen in the front part of the house. The procession from the temple went past our house and all of us were there to watch and do obeisance, but I don’t recollect seeing her there. She was in her kitchen.
Mayuri, this was a surprisingly different and exceptional piece of descriptive writing!
The vivid, heartfelt tribute to Rukmini avva evoked strong feelings for the quiet, dignified and strong women in our families. I remember her very well during my infrequent visits to Phani mama’s home. The mosaic of images you paint helped complete the faint picture I had of seeing her in the kitchen, bent over, quiet.
Several aspects of life then – the sarees hanging to dry, high on the ceiling – are also part of fond memories of my maternal grandmother, another strong woman way ahead of her times.
Men in our families tend to get the lions share of attention. It’s very often the women who are the strong, unsung heroes in my story.
Mayuri, this was a surprisingly different and exceptional piece of descriptive writing!
This vivid, heartfelt tribute to Rukmini avva evoked strong feelings for the quiet, dignified and strong women in our families. I remember her very well during my infrequent visits to Phani mama’s home. The mosaic of images you paint helped complete the faint picture I had of seeing her in the kitchen, bent over, quiet.
Several aspects of life then – the sarees hanging to dry, high on the ceiling – are also part of fond memories of my maternal grandmother, another strong woman way ahead of her times.
Men in our families tend to get the lions share of attention. It’s very often the women who are the strong, unsung heroes in my story.
My grandmother was exactly the same Mayuri