Letting go
- September 25, 2022
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
Letting go
We have two things here
- Letting go of things
- Letting go of thoughts
One clutters our physical surroundings and the other clutters our mind. Both are bad for our health and well being.
Letting go of things
In the first place why do we clutter things in our homes, office rooms and other personal spaces?
- We humans need an anchor to recall and remember people, events that are past; long term memory is better served with some physical object that can trigger the recall…so we hang on to things
- Emotions attached to that object; hard to throw away some things for many among us; eg: your mother’s chair, your first love letter/ greeting card received/ that group parting gift with school leaving friends/ the ball you played with when you won your first game…many such things
- You loved using something for a number of years and therefore cannot give it up…eg. a dress, a gadget, some trinkets, a scribbling book
- Our achievements are so important to us that giving up things that remind us of those achievements is very hard for many of us ; first job letter, certificate for a sports event, your embroidered/ painted dress/ table cloth, international travel tickets, boarding pass
- Feelings of comfort make us hoard things; coffee cups. mattresses, towels, dresses, comfort books, that DVD …
- You spent a lot of money at that time…but it is no longer useful… you will hoard it for long number of years…simply because it was expensive when you bought it!
- Fear of needing things at a later time eg: bank passbooks, completed loan and / or investment documents
- Hoping to use them again at some vague future time…most houses have a lot of things on attics and in storage spaces with this intention
- Wanting to handover to children/ grand children as family legacy, we hoard some things
- Most often; you are too preoccupied to look around and notice what all is lying around in the personal space…years can pass without recognizing the need to spruce up things
- Lying around the house are other things among which we don’t use three fourths ever…plastic bags, containers of all sizes, clothes of kids, play material and toys, picture books and so on.
- Many among us do not even realize that there are things lying around for years…our attention to our immediate surroundings is so unimportant … we do not realize the need to work on it
- Many are lying in the attics! We don’t clean our attics at all…once things are dumped there, they remain there
It’s exhausting!!!
What can be done to de-clutter?
There are no strict rules to this…but some things can help
- Awareness: realize that you are living in a crowded, cluttered environment. This is a big ask for many among us. But a good starting point.
- Assess: a frank assessment of what things are there that could be eliminated
- Analyze: why are they there? What purpose will they serve? For how long will you be willing to hang on to this thing or that? We need to question ourselves
- Frank assessment of emotional attachment to things needed; will your memory of your mother fade without that chair around? Can you recall the face of that first admirer who gave you that greeting card? Retired from work after 30 years and do you still want that first appointment letter? There are plenty like this.
- Can you let go of that once expensive gadget which has no use now?
- Handing down to next generation is also not reasonable…it’s property, gold and money that are welcome…not most other things. We women have too many clothes to hand down…a very difficult exercise. Better to keep less and keep disposing off frequently
- Can you remodel and reuse things? Do that without any waste of time!
- Be generous … we cannot use or make money with everything we have hoarded…simply give away to the needy persons…there are plenty of them in our vicinity
- Finally, We need to realize that we can live with much lesser number of things in our life and still be comfortable …and act accordingly
Letting go of thoughts
The second part of this article is even tougher to handle.
Our human mind keeps busy 24/7, 365 days all our life. It keeps thinking forwards and backwards with equal alacrity. As much as we think about future, we think about our past. Research says we humans are not designed to be happy creatures; that would go against survival instinct. So scary things can surface in our thoughts more than happy things.
Research also states that a wandering mind is an unhappy mind…and who among us does not have a wandering mind? People spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they are doing according to a 2010 study by Killingsworth and Gilbert published in ‘Science’. They point out this as ability and a cognitive achievement but it comes with an emotional cost! This mind wandering causes unhappiness among humans; it’s not the consequence !
While thinking is critical aspect of human life for simply getting an education, work, and getting on in life, it has consequences such as unwanted rumination, worry, anxiety, fears and phobias, recall of unhappy events, and anticipation of future calamities !
One research points out that we humans have 50,000 thoughts per day, and 70-80% of them, i.e. 40,000 are negative thoughts! Whatever research says, it still remains that we humans predominantly think negative thoughts rather than positive ones.
These can clutter our brain very badly. Letting go of thoughts is important for sound mental health, contentment, satisfaction and basically, peace in life.
How to do this? Some ideas, these might work, but cannot be promised to do so all the time
Avoiding negative thoughts
- Concentration needs to be improved; an important brain activity which is crucial for clearing exams, completing work targets, solving a problem in short term and most other short term activities in life … but it has this critical use; it can help one concentrate on task at hand, and stop mind from wandering!
- Skill in diverting the mind quickly… imitate children in this. They quickly divert their minds to more pleasant, interesting things. Hard to emulate them, but a try is needed
- Listen to music you enjoy often, invariably mind goes with music rather than towards wandering thoughts; that’s the greatness of music
- Read books; plenty available to cheer your mind if you clearly look for them. Even children’s comic will do!
- Watch your favorite programmes on TV. Now access to these is plentiful.
- Spend waking hours in useful activity, part of it in slightly tough activity… then you will avoid unnecessary thoughts
- Social interaction is important for keeping mind occupied fruitfully; don’t be a loner
- Hobbies can help in a big way too
When negative thoughts occur
- Go by the philosophy that the earlier sad/bad events will hardly ever get repeated in anyone’s life
- Think on what you learnt/ gained from that negative experience earlier. It gives a new perspective to life
- Future is not in anyone’s control…that’s a given. Thinking about horrible things in future, will only mess up the present!
- If negative thoughts keep encroaching regularly, face them squarely… so what? That’s the question you must ask and answer
Finally, though letting go is a difficult thing for us humans we are much better off if we can attempt to do so. Even an effort in that direction can save the day…can we start on this now?
By the way, uncluttered surroundings do make for an uncluttered mind!
Nice article!Most people know some theory but solutions are not clear to many.This article will help those who want to seriously declutter the mind and surroundings!Keep writing !
Excellent elaborate article on letting the things ‘go’ as prolonged thinking not letting it ‘go’ is likely to take a heavy toll on individual’s health n happiness.
So give way on priority to such things which are likely to have a negative impact on you
Excellent akka…We should learn to give away things..No use in accumulating them. Thoughts…..sssss..most of the time..gets negative thoughts only. Idle mind is a devil’s work shop….To keep ourselves busy nd enjoy with our passions is the best way to put a stop to our negative thoughts. Enjoyed yr article💞
Very well narrated Mayuri. An eye opener. it’s always thebest option to clear cltter and thoughts. Good article.
Article is well articulated Mayuri. Good to practice to stay away from negative thoughts.
Nice, Atta.
Lots of thoughts and researched very much in detail.
In this arithmetic of “letting go”, clearly we practice only the rules of addition and have forgotten how subtraction works. Inertia and plain laziness takes over our natural inclination to hoard things over the years. Getting rid of things takes effort and it’s much easier to hoard under the excuses of preserving them for a whole lot of irrational reasons outlined so clearly in your article.
As you indicate, letting go of thoughts deemed unwelcome or negative or anything at all is a tough act. A one way ticket to Bodh Gaya after letting go of things seems like a good start.
Finally, letting go of your near and dear is a painful but necessary part of our journey.