Introspection
- February 20, 2020
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
Introspection
Often, in my blog I have given introspection as an important way to mitigate our troubles generating from interpersonal problems.
What is introspection?
Basically it is ‘Observation of one’s own mental /emotional processes.’
Cambridge dictionary defines it as: examination of and attention to your own ideas, thoughts, and feelings.
Why do we need to introspect?
- Life throws many challenges at us which we can or cannot surmount. When we face the challenge and come out successful, there is a sense of achievement and pride. But when we fail, we humans have a tendency to start blaming others, circumstances, as well as our fate! That is when introspection is required. Countless examples come to mind; a difficult examination, a tough interview, missing a promotion, losing a job, a costly professional mistake and so on.
- We humans often come in conflict with other humans; get into arguments, and many times into active fights. Who is right and who needs to step back and apologise? Here again introspection is the way forward. Argument with close persons that has gone overboard, conflict with boss that exceeded boundaries, fights with children and so on come to mind as examples.
But, tragically, we human beings hate to introspect. There are many reasons for this
- It is a serious mental exercise. Most of us are not tuned to taking such effort
- It is hard to face ourselves…since introspection is harsh on us… it will tell us unequivocally where we stand in our thoughts and feelings! After all, who would want to acknowledge that they are jealous of their own sister?
- It needs some serious self – time. Many of us never want to be with ourselves. We want to be with others doing random things and making inane conversation.
- Introspection needs honesty and courage, which is lacking in most of us.
- It is scary to look into ourselves… we could be dark, unpleasant and negative human beings. We certainly don’t want to know what we are!
- And worst of all…it shows us that we were wrong and the others were right! Accepting responsibility for the state of things around us is the most difficult thing for us human beings.
Just consider the questions we need to ask ourselves when we are to introspect
- Who am I? Forget the existential connotation to that question…simply answering it with plain words too is baffling for most of us!
- What do I want? Now this is tough. Most of us can never tell what we want from life, from others, from our own selves! I had a long association with one person who was constantly chasing a higher position in her career. When she got to each of those positions, she didn’t enjoy them, but was staring at the next higher position. I never saw her contented. Wonder if she ever introspected.
- Do I deserve this or that? Now this is hard on us humans… can any of us be honest enough to admit that we truly do not deserve something?
- Can I really do this? Here is another one for which honest answers are difficult to come by. We justify in various ways how we can manage the task rather than admit we cannot do it.
- Was the other person right and I wrong? Again honesty deserts us here. We want to be right all the time… cannot admit that the other was right.
- What is not nice about me? Well we have no comprehension about this! We think we are okay and nothing much is wrong with us. If things go wrong, others are responsible.
- What is nice about me? Surprisingly we do not even know this positive thing about ourselves!
What do we do about this?
We are scared to look at ourselves fair and square. But we are quick to point out what is wrong with others. Here lies the foundation for all human conflicts. Introspection alone can help us overcome many a wrong take in life.
Here are some ideas which may be tough to follow but worth trying to make life worthwhile
- Realise that looking at oneself is every day, constant endeavour, but not something we need to take on when crisis hits us. It is important to keep asking ourselves the above crucial questions every now and then and answer them honestly. If this becomes a habit, then facing crisis situations does not appear as mind boggling.
- Stepping back both physically as well as mentally from a volatile situation needs to be practised. It is hard, but can be achieved, with practice. When we step back, we get the most required breather to introspect and come back with more sensible response to the crisis situation.
- Become aware that introspection annihilates impulsive, emotional responses to situations, which can often be disastrous for interpersonal relationships. Then it becomes easier to desist from such behaviour.
- Learn to enjoy alone time. This is very necessary if you want to introspect. If we constantly seek company of others, keep asking for their opinions and advice, we will never sufficiently introspect on the issue.
- Try talking about the outcome of your introspection to close persons in your life, your parents, siblings, children, and friends. When you tell them what you found about yourself while introspecting, their forthright responses are a great help in modifying your behaviour, attitudes and perspectives.
- Introspection helps us from indulging in hasty emotional reactions to situations. Indirectly it helps us in mature interactions with others. If this is realised we will stop before we jump into conflicts.
- Be aware of how much introspection is needed. There is a danger of too much introspection too. It is called brooding or rumination. If indulged in negative self analysis for long duration, one can get into depression and suicidal tendencies. As much as thinking one is a fine human being, in the same vein, thinking one is good for nothing is equally detrimental to effective and positive functioning in the world.
This way, introspection is the bridge that connects the rational brain and the emotional brain effectively and therefore has very high potential to refine our personality. Do start thinking about yourself as part of your daily routine, just like drinking a glass of water when thirsty.
After all, Introspection alone will help us change our thoughts, behaviour, attitudes and perspectives.
Good luck in this new exercise
I think the biggest drawback of human beings today is lack of introspection. Everyone has fantastic opinions about others and their lives but have no inclination to look at their own. It is the biggest reason for conflict and misunderstanding in people’s lives. Wish they would just look into rather than look around. Excellent piece of writing mom 👌
Beautiful article.True that it’s very difficult for most people to accept their negative qualities or weaknesses, and that can be one of the reasons why we don’t want to introspect! Every one wants to judge others but not themselves!Funny but true.Once we introspect and try to accept and correct ourselves life and relationships become beautiful and we become more lovable! Keep it up!!
Quite a balanced write-up on the pros and cons of introspection, Mayuri. True, the hardest thing to do is to introspect and admit to self that he / she was or is wrong. It is something like a brake or speed-breaker, in the life of anyone. Indispensable !
A wonderful eye opener for self. Nice article madam. This skill needs intrapersonal intelligence. We need to train children to practice this skill. I have started it with my kid. She tries to reflect on what all she did from morning till night and was it all right or something went wrong, before she goes to sleep. It really helps. Its gives maturity. Introspection should be our life style mam. 👌
New stuff on introspection. Remembered zohari window where I know and you don’t know component of personality which we all have within. Introspection helps in removing the mask of inner core self and throws light on our real self. Like you said man it gives both pleasant and unpleasant self review. Though it is difficult I feel it is worth taking this exercise by everyone to fine-tune our personalities.
New stuff on introspection. Remembered zohari window where I know and you don’t know component of personality which we all have within. Introspection helps in removing the mask of inner core self and throws light on our real self. Like you said mam it gives both pleasant and unpleasant self review. Though it is difficult I feel it is worth taking this exercise by everyone to fine-tune our personalities.