How to find happiness
- November 21, 2019
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
How to find happiness
We humans relish sadness! We find something wrong all through the day, every day of the year. We whine and crib at every turn. It is hard to answer the question ‘are you happy?’ Asked to give examples of what makes us happy too is fraught with doubts.
We really have never given a thought to what makes us happy. The big things we want to achieve in life are far off and eventually when we do get that house, that car, that piece of jewelry, that promotion… we realize somehow the elation is subdued are worse, nonexistent!
Searching for happiness is a clear case of ‘missing the tress for the woods’ that is because we fail to understand the nature of happiness.
What is it?
- Happiness is at best momentary
- It appears unplanned and very often suddenly
- Unexpected things make us go through this feeling
- There is no way we can plan to be happy
- Wide range of small things give this feeling
- Big events which are expected to make us happy rarely do so.
The big things that are on our lists are hard to achieve and at the end of that specific achievement we experience the following
- Exhaustion
- Go through disbelief
- Start thinking immediately about its consequences
- Start planning for the next step without resting our minds
- Worry about who all are happy for us and who are envious!
So, where is the happiness?
That’s the reason I would like to emphasise the process of each of our activities to be considered seriously as sources of happiness
Some examples are called for
- The moment the bank officer agrees to sanction your requested home loan
- The moment the child brings in a complete A+ report card
- The moment you hear the price of that car you set your eyes on, which is within your budget
- That moment your co worker gives you an appreciative glance about the way the work has turned out
- That fleeting hug you get from your child, as you enter home
- The moment when your spouse says ‘ where would I be without you?’
And so on and so forth… happiness comes and goes in a flicker…
There are other really unconnected, unexpected things that can make you happy…
- The first sip of the early morning coffee
- The radio playing a beautiful song you haven’t heard for the last many years
- Watching the end of a brilliant movie
- The touch of that book you are dying to read
- The first look at yourself in the mirror in your new dress
- Eating the first morsel of a well cooked meal
- The large sip of water when thirsty
- The first spoonful of your favorite dessert
- Entering the shade after a long walk in bright sunshine
- The feel of an infant in your arms
- The moments after a rigorous exercise
- The thumb up sign from a colleague / boss
- Smell of flowers in the beginning of the season
- The completed feeling after a long assignment
- The first few moments of watching nature
And there are things that are not nice, but give us momentary happiness
- Using expletives when seriously stressed
- A sound argument
- A good kick at that football
These lists too can go on and on. The idea is to understand that happiness needs to be identified at every nook and corner of life, and not be searched in major events of life.
Marriage is a very important event in our lives. The moment one looks at the other and decides to marry that person brings about the flush of happiness, but the rest of the activities that follow through are actually anxiety provoking!
Buying a house is great, but fraught with many worries and tensions, both monetary and emotional. When the idea crystallised is the moment of happiness…
Recall of happy moments too is hard for us humans, we are terrific at recalling bad and sad moments. Ask anyone to narrate there hospital stay for some operation… you will get a graphic description. Ask the same person to describe their experience in happy event. They will stare at you nonplussed!
If we would like more happiness in our lives, we must make serious effort to recall and retain happy feelings.
- Hum that beautiful song even when it is not playing any more
- Talk about that great book you read with someone who will understand and appreciate
- Discuss that TV show/ film with like minded person
- Do new things… one never knows which among them will give us happiness
- Slow down in all life activities…stand, stay put and observe…you may observe something that gives you that pleasant feeling
- Write down in a diary… its not only meant only for traumatised lives!
Finally, it is important to realise that most of us experience happiness many times just like sadness, but rarely record those feelings. Keeping a tab on happy feelings and what brought them about is certainly the first step in realizing that ‘after all life is not as terrible as we generally make it out to be’.
Good luck in memorising your happy moments!
Was ‘happy’ to read the article. We all must realize and make happiness, a ‘daily decision’. Remaining happy, when unhappiness is powering you, is a great challenge. Happiness is a period between periods of unhappiness so one can understand the gravity of life. Periods of unhappiness shall be more than happiness so one need to sail through those and try to grab/remember happy moments of present/past. We need to overcome unhappiness and practice happiness in life.
Good coverage on happiness supply of which is in dearth!!
Madam
A good article on happiness.
Happiness is a state of mind which is momentary and at the same time inconsistent. Similar things and situations do not make u happy when repeated. Most of the things in life that make us happy have nothing to do with money. Present generation needs this orientation . Being happy always can be categorised under higher order psychological need that can be achieved with self awareness and actualization.
Happiness is largely retrospective. We look back at some events or period of our life and think that we were so happy then. But at the time of those events or that period we most probably not conscious of feeling very happy. Best example is school days. Everyone says they were very happy during their student days. Ask any schoolboy now. It is most unlikely that he will take the question seriously. If he does, he will just say that he never thought about it..Same fellow 30 years later will say those were his happiest days.
Well stated about the joy of Happiness. Today a happy day. All of us look for every day to be a happy day, but never it is certain. Small or big hurdles keeps knocking us in daily life and take away this joy temporarily. But we have good coping mechanism to retrieve happiness. Nice article Mayuri.