Expectations
- September 2, 2017
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
Expectations
One perennial problem with us human beings is we have expectations; from life, from others and from ourselves.
Expectations on life are not in our control; so we sigh and move on.
Expectations from ourselves are truly convenient; we get inspired by something we see, experience and develop an expectation that we will do this or that. But even the slightest inconvenience stops us in our tracks and we retrace our steps giving convenient excuses.
It is expectations from others that are the bane of human life.
You might ask ‘isn’t it good to have expectations?’
Yes and no.
Yes because it helps in letting others get along with us, setting goals for ourselves and making others understand where they stand with us. Realistic expectations have highly positive results; children will learn to set goals, couples will learn to make adjustments with each other; families will learn to get along with each other.
The problem comes with unrealistic expectations. These can happen when
- Too high or difficult expectations are insisted upon others
- When one is expected to meet the expectations and the other does not do anything in return
- When one is seen to be in an assumed superior position and the other is treated as inferior
- When ones expectations are considered sacred but the others’ expectations count for nothing
- When expectations are not met, it is perceived as incompetence, lack of commitment to the relationship, laziness, in fact everything negative, never once the issue is seen from the point of view of the other person.
Some important examples in life that we all can identify with:
- Man must earn for the family, in fact these days the wife must earn too
- Since he earns, he has the superior position in the family, even if she earns, she still has to bow down to him
- Children must be obedient, study well and at all times be good
- Parents must help in tasks around the house, but must not have a say in anything
- Subordinates must slog it out at work, never ask for privileges
- Bosses must be understanding and kind but must still produce high quality, timely work
- To the extent that government must take care of all its citizen’s needs but must not tax them!!
- God must be with me though I may not have time to think of him!!
The list goes on. Basically we humans are wired to see everyone around us to be doing things the way we want them to. But the world around us is wired differently. Most things don’t happen the way we expect them to happen.
How to handle this?
- The best thing is to have expectations on ourselves and limit our expectations from others. After all, the other too is a human and is likely to have his/her own expectations from us and from life!
- Be as realistic as possible in the expectations from others; expecting a child to become a doctor because you lost the seat by a whisker, is truly unrealistic if the child has different inclinations
- Be patient; when we want others to meet our expectations, they cannot do so the moment we expect it; learning new skills, sprucing up old skills, thinking of things in different ways, getting to become comfortable to new situations, new people ; all these take time . This is particularly true in marriages when most often the young women are expected to make those adjustments.
- Change your own habits and behaviours in this process to suit the situation; expectations are well met when the support system is in place, when the other individual too makes an effort to go along this new path. Accept the new ways or different ways of doing things.
- Accept that all ones expectations cannot and will not be met. This is the way of life. Human beings are not pets to be trained perfectly in selected tasks. They have a mind of their own and will exercise it as much as you are exercising yours! Children, spouses and subordinates will do their own thing, but will not always meet your expectations since they too are humans.
- Learn to get along with people even when your expectations are not met. After all, between your spouse and you, your child and you , and your subordinate and you or your boss and you there may evolve partnership with different set of understandings which will suit your situation perfectly.
Then you will happily drop your expectations.
Too much of expectations Will less your life expectancy. The points were touched up on to be realised and realistic. Thank you ma’am for giving insight into my internal world. Keep going 👍
Thank you
Fantastic, these are all the facts of life.wonderful.
Thank you
Without expectation there is no charm in life..,your points are really thought provoking…Thank you for for providing some straw to munch!
Thank you Sir
I wanted to share with you my school experience.Intheprrsebt situation I am teaching English to Primary and 6th grade students. I had observed that the earlier teacher was very linient and too friendly. In a very democratic manner I have raised their expectations and I have observed changes in their performances It is a progressive change.Sometimes it is worth while to keep expectations.like you mentioned there are two sides if the coin.But you have to choose one and be firm with your decision and be realistic.
I ‘expected’ the article with a bang! Sure.. it is.
Accept except expectations.
Expect but not intercept
Expect but not suspect
Expect but not impact
Expect but not ‘to’ perfect
Expect but not analyse – analysis can lead to paralysis!!
Excellent Ramu. Thank you
Excellent Article mam. Really people has to go through it. They can understand how to be.
Mam give back link’s to this article. So that your article can reach to many people.