Complimenting others
- April 21, 2016
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
I can live two months on a good compliment – Mark Twain
A good compliment given at the right time, in the right group is as good as a monetary incentive in a job, according to a recent research.
In real life this is the most difficult thing for us to do. We hate appreciating others; somehow it appears like a defeat.
Many examples can be noticed in life:
- Bosses don’t want to appreciate subordinates wondering if they will get big for their boots
- Parents don’t want to compliment children’s work thinking children will get a swollen head
- Friends don’t want to compliment friends wondering if they are belittling themselves in this process
- Teachers don’t want to compliment students worrying that students will become undisciplined
- Spouses don’t want to appreciate each other concerned about not keeping the the other on their toes all the time
I have seen many interesting examples in my career:
- People walk out when a colleague is making a presentation not wanting to listen to the appreciation she is likely to get
- Bosses take away the credit in the final meeting, by not involving the subordinate who actually did the work
- Superiors calling the subordinate and saying that their work had to be greatly modified before it could be submitted, taking away the good feeling of having done something well
- Simply claiming that good work is mandatory and need not be recognised or appreciated
Why is it so difficult to praise? I am putting down some of the reasons I can think of
- Shaky self-esteem: if our self-esteem is shaky depending often on what others think about us, then it is hard to appreciate others
- Unsure about our skills and abilities: am I good enough? Is a very worrisome question that plagues a lot of us
- Poor preparation in doing our designated tasks: a very serious reason to want to see someone else also to fail to reach the mark
- Simple enviousness: some people are actually born with this trait! They cannot help but feel very low when others are praised, so they never make the mistake of praising others
- Coveting a position that one knows one does not deserve: ha… big NO to praising a person who is likely to reach there
- Inability to maintain feelings of worthiness in the face of others taking the limelight; this person starts feeling inadequate
- To cover up one’s own flaws and failures; somehow it feels like one is flawed if the other is praised.
Who Compliments others?
- Those who have a secure self esteem
- Those who are genuine at heart
- Those who are unafraid of their own drawbacks
- Those who are confident about their own strengths
- Those who are appreciative of the good things in life
- Those who have respect for others
Thus it takes a person with good secure self-worth feelings and sense of self-satisfaction to be able to see virtues in others and whole heartedly appreciate them.
Some serious advantages can be seen if one is capable of appreciating others
- Reciprocation will certainly follow
- Future bonding with that person is ensured
- Assistance and help come your way
- Goodwill develops
- You will be considered a good team player
- It actually improves your self esteem
- Feel good factor
- You are seen as a good leader
- Appreciation where it is due encourages good efforts in future
One must work on one’s own personality if
- one never receives appreciation
- one is never able to give appreciation
So it’s important to introspect and think back on when was the last time we whole heartedly appreciated someone. Then think back on when we ourselves received appreciation. If both are missing, then there is serious cause for concern; we are not good at social relationships. Period. – Tips for being positive
I feel that there are people who like to compliment others whereas there are some who do not like to do so…
It is debatable…why should we compliment others?
If you compliment me then I compliment you…is an attitude many have developed…
Real compliments come spontaneously…others are superfluous…
I am complimented for my achievements not because I am a friend of you…
So complimenting others has many facets…
You have given a lucid explanation of complimentation…that stimulate us to think over it again and again…
A good article indeed..
.is it a compliment…?
Thank you Sir, I will take it as a compliment
Mam, That was a good article on compliment. A compliment from superiors definitely works towards to more dedicated work. As u said those who are good at complimenting others have many advantages. I feel if we notice others let it be their work, dress, or anything else and compliment them it enhances a sense of well being. More positive atmosphere gets created.
Complimenting others is like giving them a gift
Lets learn to give compliment to others, and make them feel great.
Thank you Kavitha
Mam its really a great article. I always relish the compliments you gave us in the class, at presentations and you have been doing it till date and every time you have complimented me it has always helped me to have high aspirations in my life. Thank you mam. Its very true that compliments work better in all aspects of life. But we rarely think about these issues, though appear simple they weigh heavy…..
Mayuri,
a very good article. a compliment really boosts one’s thinking power and helps to show their talents in a better way and receive more and more compliments
Thank you Vijji
Great expression. Well thought and written.
Thank you Manu, I have been a victim of not receiving appreciation for a lot of things i did really well in life. so this article comes out from my heart!!!!
very nicely put Mayuri. i am quite free with my compliments to my subordinates. i suppose thats the reason they like and respect me. now that you have put this into a perspective, i am clearer about what i have been doing quite naturally (but am often criticized by others who have not received my compliments). all the advantages you have mentioned are absolutely true.
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