International Women’s day, 2024
- March 8, 2024
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
International Women’s day, 2024
What’s the situation on the ground?
- When women are deserted, they are deserted with children, as if he has no responsibility towards his own children! millions of women have raised their children alone, struggling to meet their needs
- A divorced, deserter, widowed man gets a bride within no time… what about the woman?
- Why don’t housewives get pocket money, just like their children?
- When she needs to go out, she must account for where, who all are coming there, how long etc. when he goes out, he simply goes, she has no idea about his whereabouts
- His friends know more about his financial dealings, status, investments etc, she has no information
- Property belonging to her too, is used, sold off, mortgaged without information, forget permission from her
- She is often criticized about her personal spending, but she cannot even ask about his
- Women spend more, though do not earn…is the common complaint…what about his spending? Drinks, cigarettes, outings with friends, fuel, eating out and probably some unmentionables too, at the expense of family expenses
- She has to be a good house wife 365 days 24/7… he can or need not be a house husband…the choice lies with him, no questions asked
- Resources in the house he can use as he pleases, she can use them as she pleases only when he is not around
- When he wants to punish her, he can cut off finances without blinking an eyelid, can she punish him at all?
- His mental health must be her concern, he hardly ever notices her mental condition
- He can talk long and she has to listen, but she is hardly ever heard, unlike the popular joke goes
- He can give her the silent treatment for days without clearing the conflict…but she cannot change her mood ever, must remain calm, stoic and dutiful
- He can avoid her family completely, but she must be in complete attendance with his family
- When children do well, he claims credit, when they fail, they are her children and she messed up
- She must learn to cook food to his taste, he will hardly ever eat what she likes and knows how to cook well
- Even when she works out of home, home is her major responsibility. Double, treble burden is all hers.
- She can hardly ever spend her earnings without his permission.
- In short, at the point of marriage, woman must give up her fundamental rights, merge her identity with the new family and learn to become invisible to the outside world… that’s the expectation still in 2024!
- One circumstance that is particular to our nation is female feticide/infanticide… nice to have boys but a bleak future stares at us where there will be no women to hold the baby…literally.
This list can go on…will stop here
What is the repercussion of all these irrational circumstances?
Men will not change, since it adds to their responsibilities, there will be sacrifices of freedom, and some sacrifice of the king sized egos is mandatory. They drag social and cultural changes in a big way. Governmental changes too end up being lopsided. Some lip service by all on the International Women’s Day is all the concession they are willing to give.
So what can women do?
In three countries, women have taken an extreme step… not get married at all, not have children at all. Why so dramatic a decision? They have no choice…men and societies, cultural practices and governmental efforts are not changing one bit. It will not be surprising if women in other countries follow suit, including ours. That’s the famous protest…the satyagraha… taught to us by our eminent leader. Let’s wait and watch this. Whether the men will blink first or the stare contest is won by the women.
In the meanwhile, women, rejoice in this situation, you at least have a way to counter this malady… men don’t know what to do… ask the men in those three countries!
Happy International Women’s Day!!!
Good article. Women should be given their due recognition too. Women population in India is almost half but the participation in economy is only 18%. Rest of the world has women participation more than 40%. Something serious has to be done about rape data n molestation of women. What happens in Manipur, UP, Bihar, Rajasthan n now at Sandeshkhali, WB is not at all acceptable. Arrest of a journalist, Ashutosh Negi who was investigating more facts about brutal murder of Ankita Bhandari, a young 19 years girl, cannot be justified. Minor girls raped in Hathras n Kathua are more gruesome occurances happening unabated even today. This international women’s day, we should take a pledge to keep women safe at any cost. Hope politicians are listening
Very well articulated Mayuri ! We must now bring up daughters to be economically independent! Leave your husband and come but don’t leave your job/profession !! My motto in life ! .. Malli
A very good message on this significant day madam. Really touching and thought provoking. All the statements are the unspoken voices of millions of women across the globe. It is really a pathetic situation that even in 2024 also we are just struggling for our fundamental rights forget about empowerment and gender equality.
Women in India experience a strange status I feel. On one side people give goddess and Shakthi roop status and on other side portray her with all kinds of vulnerable and emotional taglines.
This diplomatic perspective towards women most of the times is exploiting women in family, social, political and economic spheres.
Let us all hope for a positive change in the mediocre thoughts and perceptions of people towards women which helps in minimising the global gender gap.
Well written,Mayuri- but things are not as bad now,as,say,20 years back.
More women are working and have financial independence than before and have say in restricting their families.
But,as you said,Indian women have a very long way to go!!
I have so many views on this that it shd prbly be a TED talk:-). For now… all I’ll say is that systems of oppression change ONLY when the oppressed use their voice, take a stand. India isn’t Afghanistan… and I’m in general not empathetic to women who perpetuate these systems by working as an engineer by day and then coming home to do Karva Chauth… give me a break! The blessing for a married woman to this day is “Sumangali”… so it’s been decided i need to econk off before my spouse?! Where’s the pooja where men are praying for the opposite?I still remember that for my first Varalakshmi post marriage as a 26 yr old, i was made to do a 2-3 hr pooja by my well-intentioned MIL. Praying for the health and well being of my husband, my family. Why is this solely MY job? I told my husband that evening he could do it with her the following year if he wanted, or do it WITH me, or leave me alone. Then i told my MIL the following year very nicely that 2-3 hr poojas are not my thing. She’s an educated reasonable woman, she understood and never again asked me to do it. Victimhood will keep women stuck. So will silence. A certain “cousins group” is a perfect example of misogyny where women go silent and let the unruly boys be boys. Men there can be putting out loud opinions all day long but don’t want to be challenged and are SO easily threatened. And look what happened? All the highly capable intelligent women quit (or went silent) and the men took up all the space and all the oxygen in the room. We do it to ourselves. WE- the women- are keeping this structure propped up with our silent compliance. Our “adjusting nature.” By not learning that it’s ok to say No sometimes— to our spouses, children, in-laws, even parents. The day we all have each other’s backs and use our voices and are clear abt our boundaries, this entire power structure will collapse like a house of cards!
While subjugation of the better half of humanity continues to be a critical problem afflicting society across most countries in the world (including rich “developed” ones), lack of political will, culture and religion steeped in misogyny among other factors has made progress on this dismal.
Adding a few cardinal truths based on quotes on the internet:
“If you don’t ask, the answer is always no,
If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it,
If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same spot”
“The first step in getting what you want is to have the courage to get rid of what you don’t”
“If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair”
“The most common way people give up power is by thinking they don’t have any”
“For women, financial literacy and independence is a matter of necessity”