About 36,40,00,000 results on Google in 62 seconds!

That’s how much this human feeling has been discussed. But still for most of our race, it is elusive and we despair that we will never reach a state of happiness ever.

All our life we are chasing it in various ways. But most cannot find it.

Sonja Lyubomirsky (2007) concludes in her book The How of Happiness that 50 percent of a given human’s happiness level is genetically determined, 10 percent is affected by life circumstances and situations, and the remaining 40 percent of happiness is subject to self-control.

It’s nice to know that we humans do have a genetic potential to be happy, inherited from our ancestors. How much each of us has inherited is a BIG question. All around me I see more frowning people than smiling ones! Not a very encouraging fact indeed!

The next is 10 % due to our life circumstances. I wonder if this percentage is true. Most of us find serious issues with our life circumstances that are not right all the time. We crib from dawn to dusk about everything that went wrong every day of our lives! So, is this accounting for only 10 % of our movement towards happiness? The answer may lie in the next point the author is making.

The last is the crux. 40 % is in our control and we humans have absolutely no clue for a long time in our lives what truly makes us happy. We try everything under the sun to find out. In fact, the opposite is true; we are at pains to make ourselves as unhappy as possible for a long time. Because we see unhappy events more starkly than happy events. Boils down to the fact that every evening taking stock of our day is a mental activity that is unconsciously done by all of us. The first things we recall are the argument with that policeman on the road, the delay at the bank, the criticism we received by our boss, the uncooperative behaviour of our colleague and so on. We do not recall the good taste of the lunch we had, the likes we got on something we wrote on the Facebook, the smile of our child when we returned home or the good news about our kin getting into a job.

It takes only one negative thought to ruin one’s day, as the saying goes. And we have many negative thoughts chasing each other in our head all the time! So how can we consider ourselves to be happy. What do we do?

Happiness is a state of mind that we need to nurture. Here are few of my thoughts on how we can possibly do that

• We think it is difficult, but our thoughts can be controlled and directed to think positive. We must practice this.
• Think about what can be the worst thing that can happen to us in a given situation. Once you know that, the anxiety and unhappiness will dramatically come down
• Develop a sense of humour. If you can see the ridiculous side of situations, unhappiness will disappear. You can laugh at most situations in life
• Indulge yourself on affordable small luxuries; buy that chocolate bar and eat it all, watch that film again, read that book once again, spend on that trinket you fancied.
• Dress well. Believe me this is terribly important to feel good and happy. The dowdier your appearance, the unhappier your mood.
• Staying long in an unhappy situation is a mistake all of us do. If it is inevitable, find a way to make it better. A lot depends on how we perceive the situation, can we see something nice in it, then see it, don’t block your mind to it.
• Best thing would be to quit. Quit that social media portal, walk out on the group of so-called friends, stop watching those crime thrillers, stop telling people all that you can avoid, stop eating that food that makes you feel bloated and all those other things
• There are bigger things that we may have to do, difficult but still possible if we wish to do. A prolonged unhappy life can wreak havoc with our longevity too. Change to the education stream that pleases you and not chase someone else’s dream, walk out of an unhappy job, you can always move to something less threatening and in many person’s lives, it may become necessary to give up intimate relationships that are not working and making one very unhappy. Takes courage to do, but must be done.
• Thinking what others do makes us happy is all wrong. We must be able to do things that make us happy. Others may be there, may do things for us, but it is never a sure thing. Mother may feed us great food, wife may keep a clean, tidy house, children may bring in laurels, but none of them can be there all the time with us.
• Handling others, is key to personal happiness. Claimed as one of the domains of emotional intelligence, handing relationships occupies a very important place for feeling good and happy. One can never be truly happy by taking away other persons’ freedom, making them subordinate to us or bullying them. Only a sick mind can find pleasure in such acts!
• Workplace happiness is a lot tricky. Best policy would be to love what one does, 50 percent of the problem is solved.
• The other half is dependent up on one’s ability to deal with others. Maintaining decent working relationships is critical. Must have respect for authority, have patience, defuse argumentative scenes right in the beginning, state opinions in carefully worded language, do not state anything when it is not one’s place to do so, be careful in taking sides, and be tactful all the time. A tall order, but can be cultivated.
• There are two things in workplace happiness that are critically important. a) doing the day – to- day job activities and b) doing those things that enhance career opportunities. Both are equally important and time and effort must be distributed for both. Or else unhappiness follows.
• Never look at any other person’s career and feel bad, no two people in the world have similar career graphs. You are unique and be happy in your distinctiveness.
• There are other things that gurus have been telling us, early rising, yoga, walking breathing exercises, meditation, reading spiritual literature, listening to music. Praying and so on. All these are important too. But remember, you need to create time for all of them, and diligently follow them on a daily basis.

Finally, the adage goes ‘what cannot be cured must be endured’. In life there are many circumstances that fall into this category. Learn to endure them cheerfully, after all, as Shakespeare said ‘if winter comes, can spring be far behind’. Have you noticed something?  Both good times and bad times have limited longevity!  Have patience, and things will work out, in the meanwhile see the sunny side of life!

Tips for being positive.