Envy and Jealousy

Here is another human failing that is elusive and difficult to recognize and deal with. Here I am dealing with professional envy and jealousy, and not the romance related. That’s a different ball game altogether.

What is envy? Internet definitions say the following which are apt.

‘A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.’

‘To wish that you had something that another person has’

‘Envy / jealousy. Envy is when you want what someone else has, but jealousy is when you’re worried someone’s trying to take what you have.’

It’s no fun to feel envy or jealousy because both make you feel inadequate.

How do these people behave with the other who is their target? It is easy to recognise these types.

• Put them down as often as possible in as many situations as possible
• Backbite about them, not giving them a chance to defend themselves
• Constantly remind them and others about how must they have done for the other person
• Grab all attention in public places and try their best to push attention away from the target person
• Get work out these persons saying in private that they are being asked since they are the best, but never acknowledging them in public, in fact completely ignoring them
• Avoid all occasions in which the target person is going to be highlighted so that they can also avoid appreciating that person
• Never acknowledging the target as boss for something therefore never obeying their request
• Being rude to the target person in public places to make them feel low and unhappy
• Over emphasizing their own importance in anything good and trusting the blame on the other when something goes wrong
• Never ever saying sorry or thank you to the other person
• Being the first one with negative criticism and never give positive feedback
• And worst of all, feeling BAD when the other person succeeds!

What must one do to get rid of this pervasive failing?

Not easy at all.

Temperamentally some are more prone to this malady and others are not

Research says that only one third of the variation in jealousy seemed to have a genetic origin, so the rest must have been down to environmental differences that people experience

Sadly, the person who is envious will vehemently deny it all their lives. So, working on it does not happen

What can be done to overcome this feeling?

• Work on your self-esteem. The person who is forever putting herself forward has serious self-esteem problems. People with secure self-esteem do not need to put themselves ahead of others or feel envious or jealous about others
• Set your goals in a way that suit your talents; do not emulate others
• Work on your talents, don’t look for short cuts, there are no short cuts for achieving success and fame in life
• Don’t imitate the target person; no two persons are alike and imitation is not going to go too far in getting results
• Acknowledge good in others, watch them and learn from their experiences, avoiding them will make you miss out on rich learning opportunities
• Don’t brag…ever…others must acknowledge your contribution. It’s not an achievement if you have to go on talking about it
• Take a step forward in appreciating the other; for an envious person this is difficult, but trying is important. Who knows, a genuine friendship may spring up between the two of you!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL WHO WANT TO TRY