Critiquing VS criticising

Here is something that we can never escape. Be it in the family, office, among friends or in public places. Often we are required to give our critique (feedback) and we receive it too.

Often, we hear people say what is not right, but fail to explain why they think so.  Instead of critiquing, we often end up criticizing.

There is also a danger that often criticising deteriorates into proper scolding!

It is human tendency to find fault first and never ever try to see what was good about something.

A few well experienced examples

• A curry finds half a dozen critics at home but a curry that turns out great is simply gobbled up without a word of appreciation
• An article someone writes on your behalf will be badly torn up if not liked and the person gets an earful, but that which gets you all the appreciation in the seminar is never ever acknowledged
• Clean house, up dated calendar, spick and span work premises, even a tidy wardrobe or a fridge are just expected, not acknowledged, but will be badly criticised if they don’t meet standards!
• Children must do well, if not the criticism never ends, if they do get good marks, the next question is what did so—and—so get?
• Bosses are notorious for being bosses just to yell, rave and criticise and never critique.
• Guides criticise every draft of a research report a student brings, but will never give any useful help how to improve it

The difference between these two terms has never been understood by most people.

Criticising is a term used to giving negative feedback, pointing out mistakes.

Critiquing is a term used to not only pointing out what is not right, but pointing out remedies for improving things, this also points out what is good about the work done, what could be improved and what must be changed completely. A good critique often offers suggestions too.

So that’s the difference. Here comes the problem. Most of us are great a criticizing and few alone are good at critiquing. While criticising leads to acrimony and resentment, critiquing actually develops a good feeling and even appreciation from the receiver.

How to improve the critiquing skills?

Again, there are no short cuts to this.

• First trait is patience, its critically important, if one is not patient one can never be a good critique. Anger is not going to get us anywhere.
• Respect for the other person who is doing something that is for you, or your family or your job, or their own work for which you are a supervisor. If we cannot respect the other, we will end up giving out only negative criticism, and not helpful critique
• Be a learner all life. If one is not equipped with knowledge, skills and capacity to interpret things accurately, one can never be a good critique
• Work on speaking and writing skills. Since critique will be given in these two forms and without proper speaking or writing skills can end up as scolding, one’s expressive language ability is very important if one wants to be understood and not misunderstood
• Understanding the abilities of the other person is very important; if that person has been handed a task he/she is no ability to do, any amount of criticism or critique will not help.
• Understanding one’s own ability to be a good critique. None of us is an expert in all things that we are responsible for. It must be noted that if and when a piece of work needs to be critiqued, and one is not an expert, one must call in support of an expert, but not cut a sorry figure.
• One must keep envy at bay. I come back to this human trait again since it is the most damaging one I have ever come across. If we are envious of the other, we will only criticise and never give wholesome critique
• And lastly, beware of the difference between critiquing, criticising and scolding. Never, ever take the situation to such an extent that we end up giving the other person a scold, which includes apart from finding fault with their action or lack of it, calling them names or finding fault with their personality itself! This last can be highly damaging to relationships, whether it is between parents and children, teacher and student, between boss and subordinate or between the spouses!

Hope this is helpful in clearing the air about these behaviours! Next time when we are in such a situation, stop and choose the right way to handle the situation.