Anger management
- March 27, 2017
- Posted by: MAYURI
- Category: Articles
Anger management
Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy – Aristotle
These days, anger has become the mainstay of person’s character description. There are any number of incidents that describe the monumental blunders that people make because of uncontrollable anger
- Fight with strangers on the street and harm them or get harmed
- Fight with family and lose affection in the family
- Fight with subordinates and lose respect
- Fight with children and lose their trust
- Fight with spouse and lose her/him!
What happens when we lose temper and yell and shout at others?
- Our vital systems go into over drive and cause long periods of hypertension; in the long run leading to important health setbacks
- Our emotions take a long time to come back to normalcy; we feel agitated and restless and stressed out for prolonged duration
- We lose social standing; people will dislike us…even hate us for our temper tantrums
- We lose friends and sympathizers
- Children will shun us; there cannot be a worse state than this
- A stage can be reached where we hate ourselves for our lack of control
- In very serious cases, we lose our social, financial and prestigious positions
What happens to persons on whom we burst out in anger?
- The worst thing that can happen is that person will become a psychological wreck. We want an outlet for our anger, but fail to realise that the recipient is suffering agonies due to our outbursts. Does any person have a right to rant against anyone for their own failure to control anger?
- Many times the wrong doer is someone we cannot give a hearty scold to. So we instead turn and blame someone else on whom we think we can vent our anger. Family members generally suffer badly due to this attitude. Someone has angered you, and the anger is being projected onto someone else, for no fault of theirs!!!
- The other person might turn against the torture. Then the repercussions cannot even be imagined. We see evidences of it in the news media every day.
What to do to control anger outbursts?
- Stop thinking you are right all the time and the other is wrong all the time. As human we all make mistakes including you.
- Measure the wrong doing in terms of its importance in your life. Forgetting something, not telling before doing something, simple wastages around the house, spending a little more than expected are the most common reasons that family members face. Getting uncontrollably angry for such things, will eventually break the relationships irrevocably.
- Introspec How many times did you not do the same mistakes in life? Was it all the fault of the other person? Did you also not do something equally wasteful, unnecessary, illogical and unwanted in your life? Yes, you too have spent more, missed a deadline, wasted something, forgot important things, misplaced items. Then this ‘holier than thou’ attitude is all wrong.
- Judge whom you are holding up as your target for angry outburst. Family members are precious. Throwing your weight about on them is most damaging thing you can do to yourself and to them. Parents, spouse, children are the lifeline. Getting uncontrollably angry with them could lead to disaster in life.
- Judge how angry you must get at what situation. For a small mistake, punishing children, spouse or subordinates is uncalled for. The anger must match the weight of the mistake.
- Many times anger is more effectively handled if we include ourselves in the situation. ‘Wish we had discussed this before… maybe I should have explained it…next time we must consider this too…I wish I can recall…’ are some of the ways in which we can defuse the situation
- Recall examples of angry outbursts. Angry outbursts could damage reputations pretty severely; just imagine what happened to a politician and a top comedian in the last few days for want of control over their angry outbursts!
- Do not give in to the impulse. Use rational intelligence. Danial Goleman has written a highly eloquent book on emotional intelligence, read that please, all of you who find controlling anger a problem.
- When on the brink of an outburst, take a deep breath, count 10, yes, really count 10. It’s very important before opening your mouth.
Finally, get a grip on yourself, you will be in a hopeless situation if you cannot control anger or use it effectively in proper measure against anybody.
Anger can be managed … not all can do it…however it is possible…your article is an excellent piece for all those who are short-tempered…remember ANGRY BIRD…all kids play with…
Thank you Sir
As said, “anger is just one letter short of (d)anger!”It is like a double edged sword which hurts both, to one who is wielding and to one who is wielded at. Angry person applies a supremacy angle which in fact could prove to be a delirious situation for him in future. Frustration, impatience,depression, anxiety are all foundations of anger. Losing the temper proves him to be a weak person having no control over his emotions/instinct. So a angry person can be certainly labelled as a ‘sick’ person!
A narration with excellent analysis on Anger management. Nice article.
Thank you Ramu. Feel encouraged
Super article madam. We really tend to speak certain things in anger which we never mean to say. And those words can leave lasting impression and feelings of hurt. The tips given are really helpful. We youngsters really need them. Thank you so much.
Thank you Pavitra. Hope to be useful
Nice Article ma’am.These tips are very useful for me..Thank you ma’am.
Mayuri, nice topic. Anger is an emotion in all. How to handle it, is very important for its effective use. Your article gives an insight to keep it under self-control. Congrats.
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